


Affection

by LordessScribes



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, MLM Writer, Oneshot, tryin to break writer's block with a silly fluff something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 17:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16163420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordessScribes/pseuds/LordessScribes
Summary: Saeran wants to kiss Yoosung for the first time but man that shit is hard to do. It takes like. Bravery n stuff.





	Affection

Affection was such a weird concept. 

Saeran hated being touched so, so much. If it happened when he wasn’t expecting it to or when he wasn’t feeling good and extra twitchy sometimes a simple brush felt like a slap or a sting. He couldn’t always control how he reacted to bad touches like that, sometimes he’d just flinch and curl away, other times he’d lash out. Not his fault, of course, he hadn’t been touched in a nonviolent way for a long, long time up until recently. He still felt like a spazzy broken jerk every time he responded poorly. He still felt bad, it was just how he tended to feel. 

But the people around him were so good. Which made everything else confusing. He’d never once had his own aggression met with someone else’s anger or fear or frustration. It felt weird to be so trusted and so cared about. 

Saeran wondered how much his brother and Mc paid attention to his constant attempts to get better about being touched. They certainly seemed more inclined to touch him in response, for both better and worse. 

Yoosung always paid attention. He always asked before a hug or holding Saeran’s hand or if sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch was too much. They hadn’t officially said it, but Saeran was the one expected to set the pace for their relationship. It was a good thing they hadn’t commented on it though, the pressure of Yoosung waiting for him to make a move would eat him alive, but also it was an immense comfort that nothing unexpected would come of their relationship. 

Until Saeran wanted it to, that is. 

Kissing Yoosung felt like such a monumental step, but also not at the same time. It wasn’t such a big deal, just a different point of contact that was considered a more intimate thing than hands. Maybe if fiction didn’t make kissing out to be such a big deal he wouldn’t hesitate so much. 

And it  _ wasn’t _ a big deal. Most couples did it. Hell, most strangers did it with no problem. It wasn’t a big deal. 

He’d tried repeating that through their last four or so ‘dates’, with infuriatingly little success. 

“So how was it?” Yoosung snapped Saeran out of his thoughts with a slight giggle. He glanced down at his now-empty plate and felt his cheeks warm, but not in a bad way. Embarrassment never felt really too bad with Yoosung. 

Saeran managed a mumble of “Is good.” around his last bite of the cheesecake Yoosung had baked himself. Sweets were his weakness and Yoosung had taken advantage of that at every opportunity. It made him just want to kiss his stupid perfect face. 

Yoosung giggled again. “You can get more if you want. I’m glad the recipe worked. I’ll be sure to try and make it again soon.” Saeran liked where they were sitting so close on the couch. Even if the cake was tempting, he didn’t want to move. 

He turned his attention back to whatever movie Yoosung had put on instead, and opted for just scratching his finger against the plate to collect whatever bits of cheesecake he’d missed. Yoosung muffled a laugh. Saeran didn’t mind so much when he laughed at him. It never made him feel judged or like he’d done something stupid like when Saeyoung laughed at him. Also, Saeran liked Yoosung’s laugh. 

It made him want to kiss him. 

Seems Saeran had a very one-track mind, this date. When Yoosung set his own plate aside he shifted even closer, enough to rest his head on Yoosung’s shoulder, who responded by wrapping his arm around Saeran. It was warm there, and comfortable. He had a perfect view of Yoosung’s lips just a few inches away. 

He was so close. Yoosung was right there. Indigo eyes kept flitting to meet his and he’d smile, completely ok with being stared at so shamelessly. Saeran wished he’d moved several minutes ago. It was warm where he was. He bet Yoosung tasted like cheesecake. 

Swallowing, Saeran looked away. What was  _ wrong _ with him? 

Ok, bad question. There were a lot of things wrong with him. But what specifically was in the way of this. 

“Hey.” Yoosung’s voice caught his attention again. “You ok? You’re kinda tense.” 

_ I really want to kiss you but I’m the biggest coward to walk on two legs _ . Hm. No. If Saeran couldn’t kiss him, he definitely couldn’t say that. Instead he shrugged, his favorite form of nonverbal communication for when he couldn’t find the words. 

Yoosung shifted one hand to brush the hair at Saeran’s neck and paused. “This ok?” when he got a nod, let his fingers run up and through Saeran’s hair. That was a nice touch, Yoosung’s soft fingers gently tangling and smoothing out the curls. It relaxed him further into Yoosung’s lap. He could have fallen asleep like that, lulled into soft arms. 

He wondered if Yoosung would do that when he kissed. 

Saeran’s eyes snapped back open and he sat up before considering himself further. 

“Saeran?” Yoosung didn’t sound worried yet, just curious. 

“I’m fine.” he leaned his forehead against his knees, gritting his teeth in frustration. If he could just do it, it’d be done already and it wouldn’t feel so daunting. If he were to just get it over with then he could do it again. 

God, why was it so hard? 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” Yoosung didn’t believe him, if his dry smile was anything to go by. 

“Alright. I won’t make you tell me if you don’t want to.” 

“I want to tell you just-” Saeran made a nonsensical gesture with one hand. “Words.” he gave up actually trying to express his thoughts. 

Yoosung fought off another laugh and instead reached to hold the hand he’d been trying to gesture with, briefly pausing for permission. With their hands locked, Saeran could try and focus on something other than his dumb brain. Like Yoosung’s thumb rubbing back and forth across his knuckles and tracing over the old scars there. 

Yoosung was so good at knowing the right thing to do. Why couldn’t Saeran figure out how to do things like that? 

He squeezed his eyes shut. If he could just do it and get it over with. He just had to do it. Didn’t matter if he embarrassed himself, he just had to do it. 

Saeran counted down from three in his head. Nothing. Counting down gave him time to wimp out. He opened his eyes again to look at Yoosung, who was still waiting patiently for him to sort himself out out. 

He’d just do it then they could go back to cuddling, right? Or maybe Yoosung would want to talk about it? Maybe he’d want to do it again? Saeran might want to do it again. He bounced his leg for a moment to try and dispel his nerves. 

The more he thought about it the less likely he was to do it. He willed himself to stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about kissing. Stop thinking about how nice his lips probably were or how soft his hair probably was or how pink his face would probably get. Stop. 

Yoosung gently squeezed his hand and that drew his attention away enough. He could do it. He wanted to do it. Yoosung smiled reassuringly. 

Saeran did it before he thought again. Just leaned in and back like he was dipping his face in water, except it was a kiss. It was barely more than quickly mashing their faces together. He probably looked terrified, sitting back and waiting for a reaction beyond raised eyebrows from Yoosung. 

After another moment, in which his cheeks did turn pink, Yoosung looked away, shoulders bunching, but smiling. “Ok. Ah,” he chewed his lip, clearly lost for something to say. 

“Sorry.” Saeran supplied instead, “I just wanted to- but I didn’t- I should’ve asked or- I dunno-” 

“No it’s fine! I’m not- You’re fine!” Yoosung insisted quick enough that Saeran believed him. He still seemed to be fighting off a smile. “I just wasn’t expecting that!” 

Saeran swallowed. “I ruined that.” 

“You didn’t ruin anything! I just didn’t know that was what you were so nervous about.” Yoosung squeezed his hand again. “Do you feel better?” 

That seemed like a weird question to ask after being kissed, but Saeran figured everything about this was already weird, and nodded. 

“Do you… wanna do it again?” a less weird question, because Saeran did. He nodded again. 

He’d been right about it being way easier once he’d done it the first time. Even though his heart was beating just shy of too fast and everything felt warmer than it had several minutes ago, Saeran didn’t feel like he was going to wimp out this time. 

Yoosung leaned halfway in this time, so he didn’t have to move as much. Saeran closed the last of the gap himself. Yoosung’s lips were soft, just like he’d imagined. Neither one of them moved, just let it be simple press of lips. When they leaned apart just enough but otherwise stayed put, Saeran could feel Yoosung’s uneven breath on his chin. 

“I’m counting that one as our first kiss.” Saeran finally got his own turn to laugh at Yoosung, snorting into his cheek before pressing another kiss there, because he had soft cheeks too. 

Affection was still super weird. But it felt like a good weird with Yoosung. Even if it wasn’t good weird, he always took it in stride. It’d get better. Saeran could get used to liking affection. Even if it was weird. 


End file.
